Let's Reframe Setting Boundaries: For Highly Sensitive People (Episode 13)
I will confess that there are certain terms that come from the therapy world that lead me to feel a bit put off. Boundaries. Enmeshment. Codependent to name a few.
You may know that I am a former therapist. And because of that, you may think that, at some point, I had an affinity for these terms.
But, I know firsthand, as someone who needed to learn better boundaries in my life, that there’s a certain level of shame that goes with discovering you resonate with these terms.
What ends up happening is that we label ourselves as having bad boundaries. And the word “bad” sticks with how we identify ourselves.
The language we use to talk about ourselves is important. Words assign meaning and also influence how we feel about having the potential to evolve, learn, and grow.
After learning about Human Design and how the energy Centers function, I prefer to shift the focus from talking about setting boundaries to talking about staying self-connected.
Staying self-connected means maintaining focus on your own wants and needs in the midst of absorbing energy from others that could overpower or disrupt that self-attunement.
As HSPs, we so often find ourselves just knowing or intuiting the wants and needs of others. And our own wants and needs can get pushed to the back burner and remain unspoken as a result.
Learning to stay self-connected is about staying aware of your wants and needs, and feeling assured to speak up about what’s important to you so that you protect your time, physical energy, and emotional energy.
At times in my life, when I’ve considered bringing up a hard topic of conversation, I would analyze the situation from every possible angle, trying to imagine how the other person would respond and what I would say back. The idea of speaking up felt really hard.
If you’ve been in this place, you’re not the only one.
I’m here to say, please don’t give up on saying what you need because it feels overwhelming.
When you put your life on autopilot without steering the course of it, saying yes and agreeing to whatever comes your way, absorbing the emotions and wants and needs of others at the expense of your own, giving what you don’t have to give leads to frustration, anger and disappointment. It’s hard to thrive emotionally and physically.
It is possible to learn how to stay self-connected and to speak up for your wants and needs.
In this episode of the podcast, I’ll talk about just that.
You will learn…
6 open Centers in Human Design and what they show us about challenges that may emerge related to staying self-connected
How our history shapes how we stay self-connected
How staying self-connected is a skill that can be learned
10 tips for speaking up about what you want and need
If you find yourself saying yes when you really mean no, my hope is that this episode will give you a new way to reframe setting boundaries and give yourself grace as you try a new and different way of relating to others.
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Grab a 50-page written guide to your unique Human Design. Receive a downloadable custom blueprint to guide you as you begin to incorporate the principles of Human Design in your life, based on your unique Human Design Chart. I custom create each guide.
Episode 3, How to Cope with Intense Situations as a Highly Sensitive Person
Episode 10, An Introduction to Human Design for Highly Sensitive People
Episode 11, Got Empath Overload? What Human Design Shows You About Being an Empath + How to Cope
Episode 12, Exhaustion, Hustle + Burnout: What Human Design Can Teach HSPs About Fatigue
Learn about Nonviolent Communication and Practice Groups
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