How To Be Unshakeable When Work Is Chaotic
You know how it is, stress hits and emotions run high from the lack of control. Errors and problems emerge at the worst time and take an entire day to fix while other duties pile up, untouched.
Tension interferes with our ability to tap into the creativity needed to solve problems.
This is the challenge presented by the modern workplace. If research shows we’re more resourceful when relaxed, how do we manage our emotions to stay undisturbed when chaos reigns?
COMMIT TO BEING CALM
The phrase “calm is contagious” has been running through my head ever since I saw University of Virginia basketball player Kyle Guy make three free throws to gain the lead by one point and advance his team to the national championship.
His elegant display of focus when stakes were high is a testament to what can happen when you practice staying grounded in the parasympathetic nervous system “rest and digest” rather than flying off into “fight or flight” sympathetic nervous system.
The next morning, going into a tense meeting about changes transforming our work processes, I’m still thinking about him. How I can channel that grounded presence?
In our last meeting, within seconds of entering the room, my blood was rushing in my ears. I felt backed against a wall and caught off guard. I stammered to find words as I made sense of what was going on.
With no desire to repeat that, and knowing that emotions are infectious, I need to set the tone to keep the team level-headed.
There’s a term for this type of work and it’s called “emotional labor”.
By regulating your own emotions you create a positive experience for your team or clients.
I set my intention to remain calm. It works.
I notice my colleague start to get irritated as I ask questions. I’m present enough to notice his reaction without getting defensive. I thank him for his patience and acknowledge that I'm asking a lot of him. His tone softens and we accomplish the goal of the meeting.
My calm transfers to him and our nervous systems stay neutral and our minds productive.
Calm is better than resistance. I can see it.
SLOW IT DOWN
A few weeks later I get a bigger test.
I open my morning email to see an unexpected request for over 50 pages of data. I’m in the busiest month of my year. Typically I take a week to pull together one set of data and they need two in five days. And I’m scheduled to be out of the office in a few days to bring my mom home from the hospital.
I want to stay calm but I can feel the beginning of an emotional spiral. My stomach is in knots. My brain jumps around as I struggle to figure out how much work this request requires.
Will I need to be at the office all weekend? How far behind will I get on my other tasks? Do I have the data for the report?
I recall an interview I heard on the GOOP podcast with Gwyneth Paltrow interviewing Brené Brown about courageous leadership.
Brené says that breathing is the anchor for staying calm in the face of vulnerability and stress.
From yoga teachers to military special forces, over and over in her research she learns that breathing is the key to maintaining presence of mind.
She describes "tactical breathing" or “box breathing”. Breathe in for four, hold for four, out for four and hold for four.
Calm people remember to breathe.
Since I don’t have the time to panic, I need to pull it together.
With one hand on my belly and one on my chest, I breathe and count, in and out, and let the emotion rise and move through me.
I put some order to my thoughts and realize everything will be okay. I re-frame my perspective. Since the deadline is soon, I’ll only fall a few days behind on my other work.I review the data request and notice that it doesn’t make sense.
After further investigation, it turns out I'm right. It's an erroneous request.
We don’t need to supply this information.
After running up and down the hallway taking a victory lap, I’m even more convinced there’s a big payoff for slowing down internal reactions in the face of stress.
Next time, hopefully I’ll stop and double check that there's a valid reason to freak out before I actually do.
But for now, I celebrate the baby steps.